R2I one month later

School Day 1:
The first day(a Friday) of the new school was a half day, Neetu was tense and had butterflies in her tummy, Nishanth was carefree with a "bring it on" attitude. Veena and myself were very tense as well.

Dropped them of at 8 Am and went back to pick them up around 11:30. It was such a big relief to see them come back with a big smiling face.

School Week 1:

The next test was surviving a week with full day of school. The kids stood out in their color dress as their uniforms were not ready yet. On the return from the first day they were happy, made a couple of friends and Neetu was working hard to blend in and what stood out that evening was she had already developed an Indian accent. She was also anxious to get her uniform so she could blend in right away.

During the course of the first week we meet with their class teacher and Hindi teacher's and started them on some extra coaching for Hindi. Emphasis on good handwriting, writing cursive, legibly, spellings and concern about being behind on Hindi were brought up by the teachers.

Nishanth was upset the second day when he received a smack from his PT teacher for not following "Stand-at-ease" and "attention" discipline. That was totally new to him (both the smack and the discipline !).

During the course of the week friends circle grew and the kids returned excited about their day at school. Sharing food during lunch was one of the biggest attraction and there were a couple of jabs at their accent, nothing that was a cause for concern.

School Month 1:

It is amazing what peer pressure can do. Kids have grown responsible, packing their bags, polishing the shoes, help with wrapping up and labeling their books. In the one month we see a remarkable improvement in areas that were of concern. School activities such as debates and such are starting, Nishanth has started on Basket ball and the first round of class tests are around the corner. Over all the kids proficiency seems to be much higher than what is being thought at school which is pretty much at the same levels being thought in the US.

So that is about the kids, now to the adults.

Both of us started work and so far it has been working out well. Veena started driving classes and she has adapted amazing well. After about a weeks worth of classes she has started taking the car out on family trips and is slowly getting into the groove. At this point I myself am wishing that I did not have to return, nevertheless I am now working on making my stay there as short as possible.

After a month the feeling that I did the right thing is stronger than it has ever been. There are still some critical pieces that need to fall in place and time will tell.

Schooling in India

If only schools in US could enforce uniforms, reign in glorification and importance of having a boy/girl friend at a young age and bring in a culture of respecting teachers it could be potentially beat any schooling system in the world.

The issues I see in India today is the fee structure in schools are largely unregulated. In large cities like Bangalore private schools are plenty and schools often raise fees on occasions as much as 25% from year to year. Unlike medical and engineering colleges that over the years have drawn attention from the government for unreasonable fees and hence attracted legislation for regulations, private schools go scoot free and parents are at the mercy of the schools.

Schooling here has not changed much in the traditional sense. High marks in board exams are still glorified in news papers, academic achievements are of utmost importance and all of extra curricular activities seem to be shunned upon as just a distraction from the main aim of school and that is to study and excel in math and science.

I also fail to understand why this complex level of Hindi is thought.

The positives about schooling in India is you remain a kid for a long time, you are not forced to behave and act like an adult at the earliest possibility. Gone are the days when my daughter spent a long time contemplating what dress she should wear to school or spending a long time in front of the mirror grooming her hair a particular way and viewing herself from all angles until she got yelled at or my 1st grader coming home and talking about who has a crush on whom.

Out here you go late to school only once, the disciplinary consequences ensures it is not worthwhile for both parents and students.

धुनिया में सब से नयारा है... really ?

To get the kids up to speed on hindi we started them on some additional coaching. During the very first class he started with a chapter of their text that had the phrase "बरत desh हमारा है, धुनिया में सब से नयारा है", the instructor read it, made them repeat it and then went on to explain the meaning. 

(as recited to me)

Teacher: It means, India is my country

Nishanth: NOOO !! America is my country

Teacher: Now your country is India

Nishanth(adamant): No it is America

Giving up he went on to the meaning of the next sentence

Teacher: धुनिया में सब से नयारा है, It is the most beautiful country in the world

That was not going to fly with Nishanth, no way!

Nishanth: What? America is so beautiful, you have to see it, there is no garbage everywhere, no cows pooping, no bugs biting  

Veena was sitting on the side and smiling away. 

Ok that is the best spelling I could get of hindi from google, not that my hindi is any better.

First week of R2I

As we flow through Frankfurt Veena wondered aloud if we would ever be flying through that airport again. It was a very sinking  feeling the last month in preparation for our R2I with all of the send off invites and parties, it left us second guessing if we were doing the right thing. We wondered if we would ever have such a good circle of friends. Nevertheless the wheels were in motion and there was no turning back.

Day 1: Dad picked us up from the airport at about 1 Am and the kids were all active. Neetu was excited about being in India while Nishanth was skeptical. I started the day with a visit to the temple and the day was spent setting up my routers and internet access and unpacking.

Day 2: Jet lagged, the kids struggled to stay in bed until 4 Am, they woke up their mutasha and amuma and made sure the house was all a buzz with activity. Since the kids seem to be well rested we decided to go to their school that day (a day before scheduled). The test was administered and Nishanth walked out in a short time while Neetu stayed longer. She did her best at what she knew of hindi. Math and English was a breeze for the kids. We were asked to come the next day to know the results.

• This was my first day of driving and took to the streets like a fish to water. I was surprised myself.. ! (pat .. pat..)
• Nishanth's protests about moving here were very vocal, he complained from mosquito bites to cows pooping on the street to garbage strewn everywhere and used that to to say "See I told you India is not good" and "I hate this place"
• Neetu for her part is a trooper, she was anxious about her test and was concerned that she did not do well in hindi
• Mom had a constant running fever that showed the exact symptoms as she had while visiting us last year

• Veena is in denial that she has actually moved and I am ready to pack all off us and return

Day 3:  Called school by 9, no results yet, called again by noon, nothing yet. Went to school by 3 and met the principal and she said they are admitted and need to pay the fees. Phew .. some relief. Suggested she  needs to take extra classes in hindi.
    So after that conversation with the principal we asked for a tour of the school and they said they cannot do that and it is against the policy.. crazy shi@#$%^&*. So after all this we were back in doubt and comparisons to the US schools was strife and the thought of a return for the kids was back on the fore front of my thoughts.  In Veena mind it was an option that was ruled outright.

Day 4: Off to the bank to get the DD for the fees to submit to the school, reached there by 9 and had to wait a good 45 minutes for the bank to open and people to start working and was asked to come after 12 to pick up the DD.

Picked up DD and off to school we went, the cash counter was closed so it has to wait until Saturday. Ordered the uniforms at school and as part of the process gained entry into the school so we helped ourselves to a tour until one of the teachers spotted us roaming the corridors and said we need to leave.

Why...? I hate this, and revives my memories about what I dislike about this country. As it turned out that the lady who asked us to leave was Neetu's teacher.

Back to the foreground, should I take the kids back to the lovely school and teachers they had? shot down again. 

We went to the house of our neighbor a US returnee themselves, They had a daughter in the same grade as Neetu and it helped us somewhat with our doubts and feelings.

Day 5: With the schooling knocked out of our list but strife with speculation because of the unpleasant encounters we decided to continue with this school and re-evaluate towards the end of the year on other options if a need arises.

    That evening we boarded the bus to Kannur to spend a few days before school opens with the next set of parents. As we boarded the bus Amma's health was beginning to deteriorate and fever was raising to unusually high levels.

    As we were scrambling in the bus stop not knowing where the bus was supposed to come, Neetu broke down into tears as she was scared with the confusion and buses whizzing past so close. She said she was scared that we might miss the bus and when we compared it to waiting for a flight she goes "atleast we know the flight will come to this spot"

Day 6: All 4 of us slept like a log in the bus ride, it was cold and cozy. I decided to return the same day as I was pretty sure that amma would need hospitalization soon. The day in Kannur was peaceful, hot and a fish feast. Yumm... !

Day 7: Returned on whatever bus I could find, it was an uncomfortable ride back. That morning I got a crash course into the realities of traffic in Bangalore shuttling to the doctor and then to the hospital from there across Bangalore. The day was just crazy busy and at the end it was decided that she would get admitted the following day for a minor surgery.


So that was a very eventful 7 days and perhaps the most stressful one I have ever faced.